Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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