I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize