blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
