Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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