i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
