Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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