don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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