You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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