Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize