fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize