she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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