what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
