Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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