Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
