I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
please don't ironically join a cult
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