im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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