there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
