So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
