You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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