Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize