I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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