My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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