im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
