i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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