Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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