im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize