She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
