Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Couch. On fire.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
