those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
