Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
