We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
