So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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