I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
