first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
