So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm too high and old for this...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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