We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
too bad you live with your parents still
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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