Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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