We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
