I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
