Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
