so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
