FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
