I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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