Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my shit smells like andre
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
