I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
