And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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