They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize