Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it glows. i had to have it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
