to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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