Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
