tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
