oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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