Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
