can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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