Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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