Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
