We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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