i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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